Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Saving the World

Riddiar is about to be destroyed by a meteor. The inhabitants’ only hope for survival is to find the mystical Rod of Power located in the ancient mountain keep, Dawn’s Light. After a short deliberation, Teff and Harres are the two young heroes who are chosen to embark on the quest to save the world.

“Do you have any idea how famous we’re going to be?” Teff mused aloud. “We’ll never have to work the farm again.”

“I bet Nessa will want to marry me and not that fool Danner, with his wavy hair and pale skin,” Harres said.

“Why would you want her when you could have any girl in the world?” Teff asked.

Teff and Harres had made their way to Dawn’s Light in only two days. Their adventure was nothing out of the ordinary. They fought dragons and packs of wolves with ease. They were after all…the greatest warriors in the land.

“Where would you want to live?” Harres asked. “I’ve always wanted to see the waterfall city in Grindan Glen.”

Teff kicked open the great doors to the keep without a grunt of strain. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll form a caravan and travel the world first.”

“Sounds like a good idea. That way the world will be able to thank us for our efforts.”

“That’s right. Who else could have dealt with the danger we’ve encountered?”

“No one!” they said in unison, hitting each other’s forearm with a deafening crunch of metal.

The two entered the ancient keep and came across a sign that was situated upon the closest wall. It read:

Rod of Power -->

“That’s convenient,” said Harres. “I thought it might be a little more difficult.”

The two continued down the hall, following the arrows that had been put in place.

“You know, Teff,” said Harres, “we should look around for some magical weapons and armor. Castles like these always have rare items like that.”

“What about the Rod? Don’t you think we should locate it first?” Teff asked, laughing. “I don’t know if we’ll find it in time. It’s not like there are arrows pointing the way.”

A short time later, they discovered the armory and traded their dented and cracked armor for entire sets of glowing blue and yellow armor. More importantly, each set of armor contained a sheet of paper describing the spells that were cast upon them: enhanced strength and invincibility.

“Now we finally look the part,” Harres exclaimed. “After we destroy the meteor, let’s unite the people. We could be their kings.”

“First, the most important part,” Teff said. “We have to save the world.”

“Right!”

The two struck each other’s forearms again, but this time a clear chime rang out from the armor.

“Not bad,” Teff exclaimed.

“Let’s go save the world,” Harres added, marching out into the hall.

The directions to the Rod of Power were precise. Teff and Harres found the Rod in a beam of light at the end of a great hall. Just behind it, another beam of light illuminated a sign that read:

Rod of Power
Use to Save the World



The Rod appeared to be made of crystal. Runic inscriptions flowed along the clear curved surface.

Teff reached out and held it aloft. The beam of light that seemed to come from nowhere at all followed the Rod as Teff moved it about.

“I wonder how it works,” Teff asked.

“We have to read the manual,” Harres pointed out.

“I bet we could figure it out,” Teff insisted. “It can’t be that hard.” He began waiving the Rod around above his head.

“Hold on, Teff,” Harres said cautiously. “Don’t forget about the Amorous Ring you insisted on wearing to meet Princess Linley.”

Teff abruptly stopped waiving the Rod.

“How was I supposed to know King Artin would want to marry me?” Teff answered in a hostile tone.

“Always read the manual,” Harres said, waiving the manual in front of him.

“Alright, what does it say?” Teff asked. He inspected the Rod closely as Harres began reading.

“Introduction: Congratulations on finding the rare Rod of Power. The Rod of Power was constructed by the genius wizard Lalilolilu, who also devised―”

“Seriously? Are you going to read the entire manual to me? Skip ahead to the How-to-Use section,” Teff said, shaking his head.

“I wondered how long you were going to let me read,” laughed Harres. “Let’s see…‘How to use the Rod of Power’.

To activate the Rod of Power, simply hold aloft in the twilight sun and repeat the following:

‘I harness the heat of the sun to protect Riddiar.’

Then point the Destruction end of the Rod of Power toward anything you want destroyed. Count to three and then say:

‘I have the Power.’

A beam of white light will emit from the Destruction end eliminating anything in its path.’”

“That’s it?” Teff asked, curiously. “I thought it would be easier than that.”

“It does save the world,” Harres said in a reminding tone. “I’m surprised the explanation isn’t any longer.”

“We should probably make sure it works before we try to stop the meteor. I’ll go first.”

“No, no, no, you went first last time, remember. Actually, you always go first.”

“That’s because I’m older.”

“And I’m smarter. I said, ‘Read the manual’,” Harres said. “I always get you out of trouble because you don’t think. Now give it to me.”

Harres was quick as lightning as he reached for the Rod, but Teff was just as quick. Teff danced away from Harres who darted after him with ease.

Teff emerged onto the upper courtyard of the keep. Twilight was a few moments away. The meteor in the sky shone brighter than the moon.

He held the Rod in the air and said, “I harness the heat of the sun to protect Riddiar!” Teff exclaimed.

“Teff! You’re an idiot sometimes.”

“What should I test it on?” Teff asked. A giddy smile stretched across his face.

“I don’t care,” Harres said, sulkily.

“It should be big,” he said, looking around. “What about that mountain?”

“You really are that dumb,” Harres said. “The mountain is part of Riddiar. You would destroy the world in an attempt to save it.”

“You’re right. How can we know it works unless we test it?”

Harres suddenly got a burst of inspiration. “Our armor is indestructible!”

“And you called me dumb?” Teff said, sarcastically. “This is the most powerful weapon in the world.”

“Indestructible is indestructible,” Harres said, standing up.

Teff couldn’t argue with the logic.

“I get to use it on you too,” Harres said.

“Deal.”

Harres went and stood several paces away from Teff. Teff raised the Rod, pointing it at Harres’s chest.

“I hope you’re right,” Teff said.

“I’m always right, remember.”

“I have the power!” Teff shouted.

A blinding light burst forth from the end closest to Teff, knocking him down.

Harres bellowed in laughter. “You idiot! The manual said, point the Destruction end at your intended target.”

“It’s a good thing I have indestructible armor on too.”

“It’s my turn. Give it to me.”

“So you can use it on me again, I don’t think so.” Teff raised the Rod again. “I harness the heat of the sun to protect Riddiar.”

“Come on! We had a deal,” shouted Harres.

This time Teff aimed the opposite end toward Harres.

“I have the power!”

Nothing happened.

Teff repeated the process twice, thinking he had somehow misspoken.

“I wonder what that means?” Harres asked.

“What does the manual say?”

Harres opened the manual.

He read aloud, “Introduction, Materials, Read this First, How to Use, Conclusion.” He turned to the section marked Read this First. “The Rod of Power is only good for one use, so make it count.”

“Really?” Teff exclaimed. “Why didn’t you read that part first?”

“Because you only wanted to hear about how to use the Rod.”

“I am an idiot,” Teff said, shaking his head in disgrace.

“Well, at least you’ve finally admitted it.”

“Should we tell the people?”

“No. They’ll figure it out soon enough.”

1 comment:

  1. Jared, Thanks for the laugh. You crack me up.

    ReplyDelete